Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Cold Case File: The Refrigerated Johnny_Mango

NOB HILL--From NewMexiKen comes the question:
Why is the photo of you in the sidebar one taken in front of an open refrigerator?
Usually when interviewing a Mango, "Why?" is never a good question. However, we might as well examine the picture for clues.

  1. Ceramic least 50 years old. Must have been his folks.
  2. Fiestaware pitchers...probably his own...a man of manly taste.
  3. 1/2 gallon organic light of #5 (Kraft sprinkle parmesan) this has to be an accident of circumstance. He must have bought it at La Montanita Co-op down the street.
  4. This must be an Amana with the freezer at the bottom. Few men would buy one of those on their own at that kind of money. He had a girl friend.
  5. Parmesan cheese sprinkles...certainly not an Italian.
  6. Tamari Soy Sauce...must be another Co-op purchase.
  7. A-1 Steak Sauce...a man of suspect good taste...or has children.
  8. Arm extended out of camera range...probably lives alone and took the picture himself. From the looks of it, the picture was taken with a cell phone.
  9. Hair not long enough to be stylish...and too long to be well-groomed. Definitely not married...and if he has a girlfriend she doesn't bug him about that shit.
  10. A's forced...he's posing.
  11. He looks away in feigned activity...the fraud!
  12. The bright light of the Amana! That's why he's in front of the refrigerator...his cell phone camera doesn't have a flash!

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