I Go to a Tea

NOB HILL--I had never been to a Tea in my life, but this much I was sure of...I was going to have to change out of my shorts and that yellow "Coffee: Still Legal in Utah" tee-shirt. A peek in the closet, a glance in the mirror, and I was ready to see what MaryAnn had going on.

That was an education. She looked gorgeous. Not only that, the small bouquet of lillies made me think that she was decades ahead of me in this one.

"At least I changed my shirt," I muttered. In my heart I was expecting a long afternoon...even though the invitation said 3:00 to 5:00. I ate a burrito just in case the food was dainty.

Driving up Central we passed a guy on a motorcycle. He had all kinds of camping gear with him, and hanging off the back of all that stuff was a cast-iron frying pan. Boy, did I start daydreaming. Nothing seems to say "FREEDOM" like a cast-iron frying pan hanging off the back of a motorcycle!

Now I was born a Democrat. We don't go to Teas. We go to corn boils, chile cook-offs, barbeques, and matanzas. Stuff like that. We drink out of paper cups and don't use saucers except for collecting paperclips. I have to say this: a Tea, even one given by good friends, makes me more than a little uncomfortable.

I must also say that Kate and Wayne are wonderful hosts. They had lemonade as well as tea. Not only that there was a table with little sandwiches on it. I took one and sat down. It looked delicious, but had a big cucumber in it. My first thought was, "The dog isn't going to help me out with this one if I spill it." I don't think dogs like cukes. Luckily I managed to eat it without messing up their newly refinished floor.

There were maybe 10 of us sitting in chairs in the livingroom...mostly women. The conversation turned to cats. Then bunny rabbits. Somehow one guy that I didn't know started talking about freezing his ass off in a blizzard on Wolf Creek Pass. Next we talked about that dead Texan who had lost his boots in a blizzard on Wheeler Peak. I looked around. The women were gone.

Five o'clock came soon enough. When we left I saw what had to be the most startling sight of the afternoon: an enormous creeper climbing a light pole. Hey, this is worth the trip. What a lovely afternoon, all things considered.