Four Hungry Pilgrims Go South...Find Bliss in Los Lunas

LOS LUNAS--Mike and Carol and MaryAnn and Yours Truly, Johnny_Mango went out to the Luna Mansion tonight. Sorry to have missed the AFC Championship game, but that lopsided Patriot victory could not compare with our great evening. And speaking of contests, I was involved in an epic struggle with two catfish filets. I won.

Great food, reasonable prices, and wonderful ambiance were what we found at the Luna Mansion in Los Lunas. Total cost of dinner for two (Mansion Mexican plate and two Cajun grilled catfish filets) with coffee and a shared dessert was $35 plus tip. It was the best catfish I have had in New Mexico.

Why Does Going Down the Aisle Bother Me?

SMITH'S ON YALE AND COAL SE--Though good food is to be found at the grocery store, it doesn't seem to pay to promote it. They always try hardest to sell you what you don't need. Here potato chips, Pepsi, Coke, and cookies compete for your attention. The end of every aisle was like this: PILES OF JUNK. Remember, in these times when we are all attacked by corporations and unresponsive leaders, "Don't Buy Crap!"

Ted Kooser, Poet Laureate of U.S.: An Article of Interest

NOB HILL--I discovered a great article on Poet Laureate Ted Kooser written by John Mark Eberhart for the Kansas City Star. It details his fight with cancer as well as describing his attitude towards poetry, which is that poetry is meant to be understood and felt...not solved. This is in contrast, as Mr. Eberhart correctly states, to what many of us experienced in college studying The Waste Land.

The article concludes with Kooser's poem "Selecting a Reader." This is a very interesting article and well worth taking the time to read it. I would be excited to see Kooser come to Albuquerque this year for a reading. Maybe we could find someone to put it on.

Cold Frame Added to Raised Beds For Under $10

NOB HILL--Update on the Raised Beds post. For less than $10 and some stuff hanging around in the backyard, MaryAnn and I made this coldframe to fit over one of the beds. We're still experimenting with it but it does look promising.

Oh Oh...Another Project Too Big To Do Easily: Build a Raised Bed Garden

NOB HILL--I thought of a couple of reasons to start growing our own vegetables:

1. I don't like to eat vegetables all that much. However, once I grew carrots (a food that had gagged me since childhood) and found that my home-grown carrots were delicious. I think that if I grow the veggies, I might eat more of them.
2. If you grow your own, you know exactly how they were grown. More and more, our food is grown god knows where and looks so beautiful in the supermarket you know they did something funny to it to keep the insects at bay and to help them grow. At any rate you know it isn't organic.

Well, there are other reasons but it all fits into one of those themes like taking more control so you can have a better life.

We decided to put in raised beds. We raised them a lot: 2 feet. This is because I have trouble with my knees and getting up and down is difficult. Also, raised beds waste less space because you don't need rows to walk among your plants. I figure it doubles the yield. Of course I could be figuring wrong.

We made the beds out of roughcut lumber: 2x12's. Roughcut lumber is cheaper, stronger, and looks better than kiln-dried lumber. But it can be a little green when you get it. In that case stack it up so air can get to it and go watch TV for a couple of weeks. The cheapest place to get it is Adobe Building Supply. After cutting the lumber prior to assembly I sealed each piece all around with a sealer from Olympic. This necessitated my using plastic to line the beds, but I figured it was worth it. I could be wrong.

I put the beds together with 3 inch exterior screws. They worked fine, but you do need to clamp the wood pieces together sometimes for a tight fit.

The dirt I got from Barelas Landscaping Materials in the south valley. They were the cheapest at $16 per yard plus a delivery charge of $40. There are three suppliers of topsoil located almost right next to each other on Bates Rd. SW. You should visit them before you buy.

What was this dump truck doing in the alley behind my house? And what is all this dirt for? In the following words and pictures I can help you (I hope) find satisfaction in a world that is 40% cow manure.

I found my sprinklers which were already on a timer and put risers on them. I actually built my raised beds in such a way that I only had to move one of them. I also put a tee part way up so I have some flexibility in arranging them after the beds were set.

Here is how to use a pipe clamp to hold two stubborn pieces of wood together when there is nothing to grab onto with the other end of your clamp. Screw in a cleat. This is real easy as well as necessary because the threads on the screws hold the wood pieces apart if they are not drawn tight. A second or third screw will not help tighten them.

I used metal plumbers tape to fasten the top box to the bottom one. It is cheap and easy to use.

Because I treated all sides of the wood before assembling the beds, I felt it was necessary to line them with black plastic. A 3 foot wide roll was perfect. I used a staple gun to tack down the plastic inside as well as the outside flaps to keep the wind from blowing them around while I worked.

There are two ways to dump the dirt into the boxes: use a ramp or screw protective cleats on the top and side of the box and dump the wheelbarrow directly over the edge. Both work.

I finished the top off with 2x4's. Using a sureform to knock off the sharp edges made everything a little safer my our grandson as well as our own tender bottoms. A pipe clamp was used to hold the pieces together while I screwed them into place. A pipe clamp is really a necessary tool when using screws with roughcut lumber. Screws aren't strong enough to draw two pieces of wood together tight; you need to clamp them first. The staples were removed form the flaps of the plastic, the plastic folded up over the 2x4's and cut off under the outside lip.

The raised beds form a maze in the backyard that has confused my dog. But I was careful in using graph paper for planning. Everything fit like it was supposed to, and the aisles between the beds are plenty wide. Wide enough for a cart or wagon, but not quite wide enough for my wheelbarrow. MaryAnn and I will start planting early vegetables before the end of the month. These would include carrots, radishes, chard, and snow peas.

NOT ONE DAMN DIME!

NOB HILL--The imperial extravagance of the Bush coronation stands in such sorry contrast to the horror of war, the terror of natural disasters, and the fear generated in our senior citizens. Remember this day. It will be a defining moment in future history books...sort of our equivalent to "Let them eat cake." After all, there really aren't any hungry people in this world are there? We are only hurting "bad guys" aren't we? Such lying...such arrogance. Where are the morality police when the President has gone psycho.

I actually think he is taking prozac. Really. He acts so disconnected from things that should evoke an emotional response, like the tsunami. Like 911. Like war. He walks around as if in a daze.

Tomorrow is Not One Damn Dime Day. Usually you would find me drinking coffee in the Flying Star. Not tomorrow. MaryAnn and Yours Truly, Johnny_Mango will be brewing lots of coffee at our house. And serving those day-old muffins from the basket at La Montanita Co-op. Free. Most of our Flying Star coffee drinking team buddies will be here. You are also invited. We will open at 7:00AM. If you are need morning coffee in a public place, consider dropping by. Email me and I'll give you directions.

The Bird Below Is an American Kestrel...Not a Red-Tailed Hawk ...Which Makes the Story Even More Amazing

SOUTH VALLEY BIKE TRAIL--I made a mistake in identifying the bird. After looking it up in my bird book it is indeed a kestrel...formerly called a chicken hawk, according to mjh. Thanks mjh. A kestrel is still a hawk, but the amazing part of the (revised) story is that Juan Hurino is taking the bird to the vet anyway; even though the kestrel was probably attracted to his own chickens. Also, from my reading the kestrel is full-grown...and a male. And to quote from A GUIDE TO FIELD IDENTIFICATION: BIRDS OF NORTH AMERICA: "Hunts from poles, wires, or trees; frequently hovers. Eats insects primarily."

Hurt Baby Hawk...And a Happy Ending

SOUTH VALLEY BIKE TRAIL--This baby red-tailed hawk lay in the diversion channel next to the bike trail. It was hurt and flopped away. It was unable to fly because of a broken wing. How this little raptor came to such grief is unknown, but overhead are several high-power electrical lines.

MaryAnn got Juan Hurino's attention. He lived right next to the diversion channel. He went for a pair of leather gloves and climbed down into the channel to get the bird.

Stalking even a baby bird of prey takes strategy. Mr. Hurino distracted the hawk with one hand and grabbed him with the other.

Juan Hurino noticed this baby hawk hanging out in his chicken coop for the past couple of days. He wondered what was wrong. Mr. Hurino loves all kinds of birds (except maybe chicken hawks) and is going to take the little guy to the vet for treatment.

And Here Is Robinson Jeffers' Poem: HURT HAWKS

Robinson Jeffers, circa 1937.

Hurt Hawks
I
The broken pillar of the wing jags from the clotted shoulder,
The wing trails like a banner in defeat,
No more to use the sky forever but live with famine
And pain a few days: cat nor coyote
Will shorten the week of waiting for death,
there is game without talons.
He stands under the oak-bush and waits
The lame feet of salvation; at night he remembers freedom
And flies in a dream, the dawns ruin it.
He is strong and pain is worse to the strong,
incapacity is worse.
The curs of the day come and torment him
At distance, no one but death the redeemer will humble that head,
The intrepid readiness, the terrible eyes.
The wild God of the world is sometimes merciful to those
That ask mercy, not often to the arrogant.
You do not know him, you communal people,
or you have forgotten him;
Intemperate and savage, the hawk remembers him;
Beautiful and wild, the hawks, and men that are dying,
remember him.

II
I'd sooner, except the penalties, kill a man than a hawk;
but the great redtail
Had nothing left but unable misery
From the bone too shattered for mending,
the wing that trailed under his talons when he moved.
We had fed him six weeks, I gave him freedom,
He wandered over the foreland hill and returned in the evening,
asking for death,
Not like a beggar, still eyed with the old
Implacable arrogance. I gave him the lead gift in the twilight.
What fell was relaxed,
Owl-downy, soft feminine feathers; but what
Soared: the fierce rush: the night-herons by the flooded river cried fear at its rising
Before it was quite unsheathed from reality.

by Robinson Jeffers

Author of A LIGHT IN THE FOREST, Conrad Richter, was Nob Hill Resident

NORTH VALLEY--MaryAnn blinks, but David R. Johnson and Harvena Richter seem wide awake in Ms. Richter's north valley adobe. Ms. Richter, author and poet, is the daughter of Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Conrad Richter. He was a former Nob Hill resident, living on Carlisle NE just a little north of Campus Blvd. David Johnson is a Conrad Richter scholar and friend of MaryAnn from their days at Penn State. Dr. Johnson works at Lafayette College in Easton, PA. David, MaryAnn, and I later went out for dinner at the Prairie Star.

Hot From Ebay's Collectible Section...

EBAY--Please excuse the scatalogical drift of these posts, but I just couldn't resist. Somebody is selling their toilet paper collection on Ebay. This is a worldwide collection, containing tp from such places as China's Forbidden City, the house of Anne Frank, and Bill Clinton's boyhood home.

I know...I know. You're thinking, "Right, this guy got regular toilet paper and just made up where they are from. Well, he asks us to trust him.

Never have I "made up" a story on any of these pieces or substituted some plain ol'e TP and suggested it was from somewhere far away. Furthermore, I am a licensed Southern Baptist Minister and son of a retired United States Air Force Chaplain (who, incidentally, collected some of the more amazing pieces for me). I simply ask you to trust me. If you would like references, I would be happy to supply those to you.

This is a huge collection. It is listed with pictures. And all his paperwork seems to be in order.

Sugar, I Said "Light Some Incense In There" ...Not "Tear The Bathroom Completely Apart!"

NOB HILL--Nothing is ever simple when you own an old house. This little project entails raising the ceiling over the tub, installing a fan, and putting in a new tub surround. Cost: materials, $200...labor, "comp" time to be redeemed when the weather warms up enough to camp.

Lobo Women Look Good In Win

THE PIT--It was another laffer in The Pit. My mind began to wander again. So did everybody else's. We can't help it if our observations wander as well.

The consensus from our section of the Pit crowd was that these two players, UNM's Abbie Letz and UV's Rebekah Fales (#23), have a kind of star quality beyond basketball. Whoa.

Is Lindsey Tweaking Her Shorts?

In these days when women's basketball clothing is so long and baggy that one wonders how they can even play in them, how come Lindsey Arndt looks so good? Is she hemming them up herself?

Two Rare Birds In One Shot! (If You Enlarge, Look Close, and Squint)

NORTH VALLEY BIKE TRAIL--What a lucky shot: a seagull over the Rio Grande and a bald eagle circling above him. You will have to enlarge this picture to see them but what a rare occurrence here in the desert southwest. And to those people in Corrales who are worried that a bike trail will destroy their wildlife viewing, you might want to reconsider after viewing these two photos.

This is the second bald eagle I have seen on the bosque bike trails in the last couple of weeks. There are all kinds of birds everywhere along the river...cranes, ducks, geese, hawks, roadrunners, and others. Now is a wonderful time to get out there and enjoy the wildlife.

David Stuart: El Guero de Guaymas

NOB HILL--Fame is indeed a fickle mistress. In all of my recollection of Albuquerque history there are only two men who have had the distinction of having a sandwich named after them. You are looking at one of them. The other is former Lobo coach Norm Ellenburger. The "Stormin' Norman" graced the menu at the old Ned's when it was on Central Ave. just east of Nob Hill.

David Stuart, seen above moving his water away from the froth of his double cappuccino, holds the honor for having the other Central Ave. sandwich named after him. His, named the David Stuart, is high on the menu at Mannie's Restaurant on the western end of Nob Hill.

Nobody else has this honor: not the mayor, governor, nor bishop. Not Don Flannegan. Not even Don "Naked Man" Schraeder. Just two: Ellenburger and Stuart. But believe it or not, what he is famous for is not the sandwich--cucumbers, sprouts, and turkey in pita bread. No...he wrote a book called The Guaymas Chronicles, judged the best book in the Southwest in 2003. Stuart, known in the book as "el guero" (whitey) details his life in Guaymas in the 60's. But here in the cafes on Central Ave., for better or worse, his name is synonymous with cucumbers, sprouts, and turkey.

China Painters Party On At Furr's Cafeteria

EAST CENTRAL--Today was the holiday luncheon for my china painting class. As some of you know, every Wednesday I go up to the Highland Senior Center for china painting. Today I got invited to a birthday party . Evelyn Loose (right side middle) is turning 95 in two weeks and I get to go to the party! There is one condition: every guest has to bring 95 of something. Yikes.

This is the morning glory coffee mug I made for MaryAnn. It took about a month...really.

And For Love...Tin Markers By The Side Of The Trail

SOUTH VALLEY BIKE TRAIL--Just north of Bridge St., behind an unlocked gate, a pet cemetery is nestled between the bare limbed trees and dry brush. It is surrounded by a little wire fence. There are half a dozen graves here, each one bearing an inscription painted on tin markers made from old metal shelving stuck upright in the ground. The site has been cared for and each animal has a stuffed toy to play with in whatever yard or field lies beyond this one here.

I have buried pets...wrapped my son's little dog up in my bedspread and dug a grave in the middle of the night. Covered her with stones. Cried. Cried for the dog, for my son, for me...for my parents, for all the sorrows and indignities I had never been able to cry for. Somehow, in the death of Ivan's little Chihuahua, I finally let it out. Thank you, Pinkie. I guess there was a tiny bit of good in all that grief.

Four more graves, each decorated with a stuffed animal, tell their tale of love and loss, but why so many dead dogs? Maybe a whole neighborhood uses this vacant land to bury their pets.

Russell Adams Recalls Amorous Encounter On Volcano...Predicts No Eruption

NOB HILL--In an animated discussion yesterday, The Artist Russell Adams recalled having taken a date up to the volcanoes several years ago. In the middle of whatever it was that they were doing on top of the northernmost cone, Russell suddenly stopped and asked, "Do you smell something? Something humid?" Well, apparently she did not but Russell wouldn't let it go. "There is one way to see what is going on," he said. He took off his glasses and held them near a crack in their cinder hideout. They steamed up! "The northern volcano is still venting!" he shouted.

Sometimes it is not hard to tell that there really is a difference between artists and the rest of us.

Russell thinks that a good earthquake could send lava spewing all over the new downtown Rio Rancho, as well as pretty much obliterating the Eclipse Aviation factory at the westside airport. When asked if he was actually predicting an eruption, he hesitated but eventually said, "No."

A Hand-Painted Aquamarine Statement About What Science Should Be

NOB HILL--Did anybody notice a hand-painted schoolbus parked in front of the Flying Star this morning? It is actually a Physics Bus driven by 3 phyics teachers from Tucson. They give workshops and lessons to school kids there. Here Bruce Bayly demonstrates "conservation of matter" in a 20 minute experiment that begins with a cup of coffee and concludes with a trip to the bathroom with a graduated beaker. (jk) Any school district that would employ guys that show up driving this particular vehicle has my admiration. Science should not be boring!

What makes a schoolbus a physics bus? Well, let's take a look.

I see. The inside of the Physics Bus looks like the mobile headquarters of any three guys from Tucson on their way to a NFL game in Phoenix, but got lost and ended up in Albuquerque. That'll teach 'em to listen to Bugs Bunny for driving directions.

Erik Herman, Kip Perkins, and Bruce Bayly of The Physics Bus/Factory, a mobile science demonstration laboratory in Tucson, Arizona were eating breakfast this morning in the Flying Star. They are attending a physics conference at the Civic Center this week.

Weekly Dinner With Mike and Carol: The Continuing Journey of Two Couples Trying To Use Up Their Entertainment Books

NORTH VALLEY--We went to Las Mananitas tonight. It's on Rio Grande Blvd. The building used to be a stop on El Camino Real between Santa Fe and Mexico City. It also was a blacksmith shop, a bar , a pool hall, and a residence. It is old enough to still have a dirt roof over those vigas. It is, of course, roofed with tar and gravel now, but the dirt remains.

In the picture, MaryAnn crunches a chip while Mike laughs and Elda the waitress makes a wisecrack. We had a great time. Elda, it turns out, was named after her father's former girlfriend. She said her mother didn't want him to forget her name. "Mother, what were you thinking?" she said.

Go visit this place for dinner...and if you do, I hope you get Elda. What a great person to meet. We ordered chicken fajitas and chiles rellenos. Dinner for 4 with coffee (using the Entertainment Book) was $32 plus tip. She did get a big tip.

Cat puts up with diners at Las Mananitas restaurant while concentrating on his duties: polishing the bricks.

Locusts Plague Giza Last November: Actual Picture, Real Bug Arrive In Nob Hill Today

NOB HILL--Rose Marie, MaryAnn's sister living in Cairo, Egypt sent us a package which arrived today. This is a picture of the locust clouds which swarmed over Cairo last November. Those dots are locusts! She also sent us one. It looks about 3 inches long.

I sure hope this doesn't fit into GWB's Rapture Index. We've got enough problems without him starting to think.

MaryAnn and Me and Baby Make Three

NOB HILL--The Artist Denise Kunz was in the Flying Star this afternoon with her partner Hal Cupp (in the background). Denise is scheduled to have a One Woman Show at a downtown gallery this coming May. We have one of her paintings in our livingroom. When MaryAnn was gracious enough to fulfill my dreams and move into my house in the fall of 2003, we decided to have a painting done of the two of us with our dog as a symbol that this house was OURS. And this life was OURS from this day forward...forever. And here is the painting. I had to shoot it from an angle to avoid a direct reflection from the flash. I hope you can tell how beautiful it is. It is about 4 feet by 4 feet. Click on it to get a better look at the colors and detail.

"BABY" by Denise Kunz. 2004. 47"x49". Acrylic. MaryAnn and I saw Denise's work on the walls of Cafe AuLait downtown and asked her to do one for us with our dog, Baby. She came to the house and took several pictures. About 3 months later she brought over this beautiful piece. It is part of a series of about 6 paintings she did of dogs and their owners.

Baby is definitely the star of this show. MaryAnn and I form part of the backdrop for her canine life...much like the sofa and the leaves of the plant.

A Disturbing Pheasant Surprise In the South Valley

SOUTH VALLEY BIKE TRAIL--Bob Evans and I came around a corner and almost ran into this pheasant by the side of the trail. What a beauty. But he seemed to have something on his beak. At first I thought it was a plastic bread bag fastener. But I was wrong.

This plastic contraption has been purposely affixed to this pheasant's beak to stop him from looking straight ahead. I am not sure why. Is it to keep him from flying? Is it to keep him from pecking other birds? In any case, this bird has escaped from the barnyard and his blinders put him at risk from every dog and coyote in the bosque. He jumped into a ditch to get away from us, and I am not sure he even will be able to fly or climb out of it. Good Luck little fella.

Boulevardiers: Take a Stab At This One!

NOB HILL--Okay contest junkies...I've got one for you. Win a free cup of java from the Flying Star. The above picture shows typical wall decor in what popular Albuquerque restaurant? Please use the comment feature to enter. First correct comment wins!

Sure It Was Basketball...But Was It a Game?

THE PIT--This is the final record-setting score: 101-22. The outcome was never in doubt as the New Mexico Lobo Women outscored the Morgan State Bears 15-0 in the opening moments. Consequently my attention seemed to wander. First I started dancing in my chair, then cracking jokes, then doing a color commentary. Everybody got so sick of me that they were relieved when I pulled out my camera and began quietly fooling around with that. You aren't quite as lucky: you get the pictures AND the commentary.

The lineup. Pick five, any five. In fact, our starting 5 averaged only about 17 minutes each. Everybody looked like a star last night.

This cheerleader is the personal favorite of The Artist Ken Saville. Lest you get the wrong idea remember, sports fans, he IS a professional.

The Creeper Race was actually a lot tighter that the basketball game. It was a battle of the sexes with the woman as the victor. As it turned out, the winner was 100 pounds lighter than the loser. I think they both could have used bigger wheels.

The Governor's seats were empty. I guess he is pretty busy appointing regents and stuff but if he gives me a call, I'll trade my nosebleed seats for these. That way it will be less noticable.

Lobo Lucy was hanging out with the wild women who sit behind us, but they scared her off.

Oh yeah. I forgot. There was some basketball going on. Here Timi E-Nunu hits a free throw to give UNM 100 points. The Lobos scored 101 all told, the 6th highest score in Lobo women's history. As Joe the Gumball King noted, the 22 points for the Bears was one more than their foul total. Nothing would go in for them. Compared to the Lobos they looked like a highschool team. How did this game get on our schedule?

Inauguration Day Is "Not One Damn Dime Day"

NOB HILL--Irma Bueno sent me the following email:

Subject: Not One Damn Dime Day

This was forwarded to me by someone I love and respect and I thought it would be an easy way for us all to make a statement about how we feel about the state of our nation and the world.

Inauguration Day, Thursday, January 20th, 2005 is "Not One Damn Dime Day" in America.

On "Not One Damn Dime Day" those who oppose what is happening in our name in Iraq can speak up with a 24-hour national boycott of all forms of consumer spending. During "Not One Damn Dime Day" please don't spend money. Not one damn dime for gasoline. Not one damn dime for necessities or for impulse purchases.

Not one damn dime for anything for 24 hours.

The object is simple. Remind the people in power that the war in Iraq is immoral and illegal; that they are responsible for starting it and that it is their responsibility to stop it.

"Not One Damn Dime Day" is to remind them, too, that they work for the people of the United States of America, not for the international corporations and K Street lobbyists who represent the corporations and funnel cash into American politics.

Not One Damn Dime Day" is about supporting the troops. The politicians put the troops in harm's way. Now 1,200 brave young Americans and (some estimate) 100,000 Iraqis have died. The politicians owe our troops a plan -- a way to come home.

There's no rally to attend. No marching to do. No left or right wing agenda to rant about. On "Not One Damn Dime Day" you take action by doing nothing. You open your mouth by keeping your wallet closed.


For 24 hours, nothing gets spent, not one damn dime, to remind our religious leaders and our politicians of their moral responsibility to end the war in Iraq and give America back to the people.

Please share this email with as many people as possible.

500 Miles... 500 Miles...500 Miles... 500 Miles...

NOB HILL--Tonight Channel 5 featured a long show about Peter, Paul, and Mary. Since their inception they have been at the forefront of social consciousness. I remember listening to their songs in the early 60's (500 Miles, The Great Mandala, If I Had a Hammer, etc.) and tonight a lot of those feelings came back. It is hard to imagine "peace and freedom" at the center of political discussion in those years without folk music setting the stage. It was quieter music...thoughtful music. Music with humor and pathos. Music for a young man (such as myself in the 60's) to reflect on his seeming alienation from much of his milieu.

Tonight Peter and Paul looked more or less the same...just a little older. Mary is a lot heavier. Their website says Mary is undergoing chemotherapy for a form of leukemia. Her email and regular address are posted on the site. They do expect her to recover. We have to remember that they are all about 70 years old. They sound great, but nothing like they sounded to me then: listening to 500 Miles over a cup of coffee and dreaming about the open road.

Walking Sunshine

NOB HILL--This happy guy makes my day every time I see him. His smile is bigger than the shining sun in the morning. Thanks, Moses! From all of us whose day gets off to a better start because of you.

Words Men Fear

NOB HILL--There are some things that a man never wants to hear from a woman. At the very top of that list are these two short sentences.

• We need to talk.

No need to explain that one too much. Every man knows that something is wrong...and it is going to be about him.

• Let's remodel the kitchen.
  

Oh my God! Not that! We need to talk!

What does a kitchen remodel entail? Total financial reshuffling. Total livingspace chaos. Total dietary change. Another look at the REST of the house. Possibly even turning a peaceful and satisfying living arrangement into a pressure cooker. And all this at a time while striving to de-emphasize food as a centerpiece of our lives.

Don't get me wrong. I would do anything for MaryAnn. And, I admit, our coppertone appliances could use at least a paintjob. Moreover, our countertops are a blend of 4 distinct patterns and styles. The lighting sucks. We need a new floor. One of the ovens doesn't work anymore. And a couple of the cabinets were obviously made by a previous owner without a lot of shop tools. But a total kitchen remodel! Isn't that a little extreme?