Words Men Fear

NOB HILL--There are some things that a man never wants to hear from a woman. At the very top of that list are these two short sentences.

• We need to talk.

No need to explain that one too much. Every man knows that something is wrong...and it is going to be about him.

• Let's remodel the kitchen.
  

Oh my God! Not that! We need to talk!

What does a kitchen remodel entail? Total financial reshuffling. Total livingspace chaos. Total dietary change. Another look at the REST of the house. Possibly even turning a peaceful and satisfying living arrangement into a pressure cooker. And all this at a time while striving to de-emphasize food as a centerpiece of our lives.

Don't get me wrong. I would do anything for MaryAnn. And, I admit, our coppertone appliances could use at least a paintjob. Moreover, our countertops are a blend of 4 distinct patterns and styles. The lighting sucks. We need a new floor. One of the ovens doesn't work anymore. And a couple of the cabinets were obviously made by a previous owner without a lot of shop tools. But a total kitchen remodel! Isn't that a little extreme?